Separation and Divorce Options

Reconciliation:  It may strike you as odd that a group of people that have been brought together to help you through the divorce process would promote reconciliation.  Divorce Connections^TM knows that divorce isn’t always the answer.  Though some marriages should be abandoned for reasons such as physical or sexual abuse or other intolerable situations, many “unsalvageable” unions can be saved.  If you are willing to devote some time and energy to identifying and correcting the problems in your marriage, chances are you can avoid the financially and emotionally draining process of divorce.  In the event your marriage cannot be reconciled, we are here to change the way you go through the divorce process and make it as painless and inexpensive as possible.

We have developed a special report, Divorce Connections^TM “Making a Marriage Last”, as an introduction to the process of working on your marriage.  In addition to the tips and information, your library or local bookstore and the internet contain a wealth of information. Couples should also not be afraid to seek professional help from a trained marriage and family therapist.  Churches and synagogues are also good resources for family support.

It takes time and energy to strengthen a weakened marriage. It can be done.  We’ve witnessed it many times.  We hope this special report helps.  In fact, we hope we never see you!

The “Kitchen Table” Approach:  This approach features a situation when a couple negotiates the contents of their Divorce Agreement on their own without substantial help from professionals.  In order to have a legally binding divorce, after negotiating on their own, one spouse may hire an Attorney on the Divorce Connections^TM team to draft the terms of their Divorce Agreement, prepare deeds, Qualified Domestic Relations Orders, etc. and the other spouse hires another attorney member of the Divorce Connections^TM team to review the documents. This approach is appropriate when there is little or no conflict, few assets or debts, no complex issues, and both parties are comfortable negotiating for themselves.  Attorneys may charge a flat rate, hourly, or flat rate plus hourly depending on the complexity of the agreement and the time involved. Depending on the complexity of the issue, this option may cost from $1,000 up.

Divorce Connections Professional Services:  For those who need a little more help in resolving issues, but can still negotiate most issues on their own.  The couple seeks professional support for only certain issues. 

- A Counselor or Divorce Coach is generally utilized when one or both spouses feel the need for emotional support. 

- An Attorney may be utilized when one or both spouses feel the need for legal advice. 

- A Financial Planner, CPA, Property or Business Appraiser, Realtor or Lender may help to evaluate various financial options and to help couples through the various financial issues of the divorce process. 

Attorneys still draft the final agreements.  The costs vary broadly, are higher than the Kitchen Table approach, but certainly much less than a full fledged battle.  Divorce Coaches, Attorneys and Financial Professionals are Team Members of Divorce Connections and are often utilized and provide this service through their own separate businesses.  They will generally charge by the hour for this type of service. 

This Options Chart shows the difference between the remaining options available.

Divorce Connections Mediation:  In Mediation, a Mediator on the Divorce Connections^TM team guides the couple in their discussions of the issues, which are focused on reaching agreement regarding the terms to be included in a Separation Agreement.  Mediators may be attorneys or non-attorneys.  Both spouses meet with the Mediator at the same time.  The Mediator may very well recommend the couple utilize one or more of the Professional Members on the Divorce Connections^TM team for any number of specific areas of concern.  Once full agreement is reached, the terms of the agreement can be incorporated into a Divorce Agreement.  Each client is advised to get an individual consultation with an attorney.  The attorneys work together to draft the Divorce Agreement to reflect the agreements discussed and agreed to during Mediation.    
 
Sometimes, especially in very complex matters, both spouses and the mediator may wish to meet with their attorneys in a five-way conference to review the details of the agreed upon items and to get attorney advice and counsel.

Mediation is especially appropriate when there is low to moderate conflict.  The parties feel comfortable meeting together with a Mediator to negotiate the details of their divorce.  Disagreements are generally about non-legal issues such as co-parenting, scheduling, or division of personal property, rather than legal issues such as a complex business valuation.   In mediation, the Mediator, Attorneys and each Professional Member that is utilized will charge for his or her time and services.  Mediators and Attorneys are Team Members of Divorce Connections and provide this service through their own separate businesses.  They may charge a flat rate or hourly and it may be discounted as a result of the "team" nature of this process. 

Divorce Connections^TM Cooperative Divorce Process:  In this process, the clients meet with a Mediator and choose to retain separate attorneys for advice and counsel throughout the entire process.  All four parties, along with a Mediator, cooperate with each other to try and settle the case outside of court.  There is security in knowing that if it is needed, the courts can be implemented to move things along.  If the parties don’t come to full agreement, the same attorneys may litigate on behalf of their clients.

Other Professional Members are regularly used during this process to provide advice to parties about financial assets, real estate or business evaluations.  Both spouses are often advised to have therapists and/or divorce coaches to help them address the emotional issues. 

Counselors or social workers are also Professional Members of the Divorce Connections^TM team and will be utilized as consultants for child development/co-parenting expertise and for addressing interests and concerns expressed by the parents and children. 
 
This process is especially appropriate when one or both spouses feel they are at a disadvantage in negotiating by themselves or when one or both spouses would like to have complete support throughout the entire process from attorneys, psychologists, financial planners and other specialists.  This is well-suited for mildly elevated conflict divorces and provides support for getting to a satisfactory, long-lasting resolution.  The attorneys charge an hourly rate and each Professional Member of the Divorce Connections^TM team bills separately through their own businesses.

A Divorce Connections Process vs. The Traditional Litigation Process

(Which is right for you?) 

Collaborative Divorce: In a collaborative divorce, both spouses are represented by an attorney throughout the process and all enter into a commitment to work toward mutual agreement.  An often sited advantage of this process is that if process does not yield an agreement, the attorneys must withdraw and the parties must find new attorneys and start over.  This stipulation purports to provide more incentive for everyone to work through the process, no matter how hard it becomes.  As you can imagine, this limitation oftentimes leads clients to select more flexible options.  Additionally, any other professional member utilized during this type of process may NEVER work with the client again outside of the divorce process.  Because of these limitations, Divorce Connections^TM does not practice this process.  Collaborative attorneys charge a sliding scale flat rate based on the size of the marital estate, income of the parties, and complexity of the issues.

Litigation: This model is well known.  It’s in the movies and everyone probably knows someone who has a divorce horror story.  It involves turning your life over to attorneys and judges who will tell you how to resolve your issues based on a narrow view of the relationship that focuses on what didn’t work.  Law school prepares most attorneys for this tough(er) model.

Divorce Connections^TM has concluded this is not a model that they choose to endorse for most clients.  However, there are circumstances where this model is indeed useful and sometimes necessary.  The process of separating and divorcing is hard enough without giving control of your future to a judge or cutting last minute deals that focus on only what hasn’t worked in the marriage.  It is often much more expensive in terms of dollars and emotional stress on everyone involved in the process. 

We can refer you to others that support this process.