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Helping You Put Your
World Back Together
Tools and Information
The following tools are designed to help you better understand your divorce options. Court appearances are costly in time, money and emotion because the adversarial court system often pits one family member against another. With the help of Divorce Connections, you can resolve your situation in the best way possible for your entire family, preserving your relationships and financial resources.
What is the True Cost of Divorce?
There are many things that go into the price of a divorce besides money and property. Use this tool to add up the true cost of your divorce. At the end total the amounts and you will begin to see the true cost of your divorce.
Consider the following questions and their importance to the true cost of divorce as you make a decision about the kind of divorce you want to have and its longer-term effects.
· What is it worth to truly celebrate your child's wedding together?
· What is it worth to be able to co-parent your children?
· What is it worth for your child to not end up in therapy as a result of your divorce?
· What is it worth for your children not to be emotionally scarred from your divorce?
· What is it worth to have your ex support your visions for your children?
· What is it worth to be able to look in your adult son or daughter’s eyes knowing you ended their most important relationship with dignity and integrity?
· What is it worth to be able to have your children grow up in a safe, respectful, non-abusive atmosphere?
· What is it worth to resolve your long-term concerns for your family?
· What is it worth to not live under the threat of going back to court constantly?
· What is it worth to support your highest self and not your lowest?
· What is it worth to not have to continually obsess on the unsatisfactory experiences that occurred in your divorce?
· What is it worth to feel that the decisions involved in ending your marriage were not yours?
· What is it worth to live your life from a position of love, rather than hate?
Is the Divorce Connections Process right for you?
To find out if you should pursue a cooperative rather than a litigated divorce, ask yourself the following questions:
· Are you more interested in moving on with your life than in perpetuating a marital battle in court?
· Do you want to be in control of your own future and not dependent upon who has the best attorney?
· Do you want to be in control of your destiny, including custody and financial support issues, rather than relying on a court's decision?
· Do you want to ensure that the members of your family each have what they need to move forward with their lives feeling intact and secure?
· Do you want the monetary expenses of your divorce to be as much lower?
· Do you want your divorce to be between you and your spouse, and not have your relationship aired in public?
· Do you want to have a financial settlement that is respectful to both parties according to their needs, both now and in the future?
· Do you believe that both you and your spouse need to make your children your primary responsibility when making financial plans?
· Do you want to lessen the stress and arguments when making decision with your spouse regarding your children?
· Do you want to have a good relationship with your children during and after the divorce?
· Do you want to end the emotional battle and stop being angry, upset and fighting?
· Do you want to preserve your children's emotional health during and after the divorce?
· Do you want to be treated with respect and dignity during your divorce process?
· Do you want your children to be able to invite both their parents to all the special events in their lives
Choosing a cooperative divorce means that you value an approach that focuses on the needs of the entire family. If you answered "Yes" to most of the questions listed above, a cooperative process is likely the best course for you to pursue.
What are your Divorce Needs -- The 5 Steps in the Process?
1. DECISION MAKING: When a marriage-relationship is experiencing great difficulties,, there are many decisions to make. Divorce Connections members are trained to help individuals or couples assess their options and evaluate issues in a confidential and honest process.
When your marriage is in crisis you are experiencing marital difficulties. During this time, you have many decisions to make including whether to stay together, reconcile your differences, separate or divorce. Sometimes the choice is simple, at other times it is complicated. Regardless, a Professional Member of Divorce Connections can help provide you and your spouse with the services you need to better assess your options and evaluate your choices so you can resolve your issues.
Common Problems in the Decision-Making Process
1. Lack of information about the three divorce options
a. Do-it-yourself
b. Mediation
c. Attorney representation
i. Consultation for specific items, not the entire process
ii. Cooperation
iii. Collaboration
iv. Litigation
2. One of you wants to reconcile, separate, or divorce, and the other does not.
3. Your marital difficulties are extreme, resulting in high conflict.
4. You have difficulty communicating.
5. You have a high level of complexity in a difficult marital situation (finances, children, assets).
Common Needs Families Have in the Decision-Making Phase
1. Information regarding reconciliation, separation, and divorce
2. Services to better manage the marital difficulties
3. Services to match the complexities
4. Protection of assets and/or people
5. Protection of child(ren)
2. FILING:
If one or both of you decide to proceed with a divorce, the next step is the Filing Process. Although this is the beginning and sets the course for the whole divorce process, the couple first has to decide which one of the following three options is right for them:
Do-it-yourself: This is best suited for simple to low conflict financial and parenting situations where there is general agreement and low level of conflict between the parties. In this process the agreements are negotiated, drafted, and filed with the court by the divorcing parties themselves. An attorney or mediator can help prepare the final agreement.
Mediation: Simple to moderately complex financial and parenting issues can be handled through mediation if the couple is willing to participate with a third party to reach agreements. In mediation the parties meet with the Mediator who facilitates communication, provides information and helps them reach agreements. The Mediator is the primary professional to assist with this option and other Professional Members will be utilized on an as-needed basis such as a financial consultant to aid in making fair decisions with both parties or a divorce coach to help with communication skills.
Attorney Representation: This option is best suited for couples who need legal representation because of the nature of the conflict between them, the complexity of their situation, or the inability of one or both parties to negotiate without representation. Attorney representation can occur in one of three ways:
- Consultation: the attorney offers consultation on a particular issue or to a particular party
- Cooperation: each party has representation and the attorneys cooperate with each other and the parties in the negotiation and drafting of agreements.
- Litigation: the attorney represents the party in court to decide the issues before a judge.
3. NEGOTIATING: If you experience difficulties in communicating or resolving issues within your family, The Divorce Connections professionals can help you break through impasses and facilitate better communication. The Divorce Connections is a team that can help with financial, parenting, support and other issues.
Common Goals of the Negotiation Process
1. Division of property and assets
2. Development of parenting plans
3. Development of spousal support plan
Common Problems in the Negotiation Process
1. Difficulty communicating
2. Differing goals, agendas and objectives
3. Impasses and conflicts
4. Lack of information related to property and assets
5. Lack of information on legal rights and responsibilities
6. Lack of information on children's needs
4. AGREEMENTS. Divorce Connections is committed to helping couples make real agreements, agreements that both parties can comply with and are long lasting for all family members, including children. Marital Settlement Agreements are written and filed in this step.
The Goal of the Agreement Process is to finalize a marital settlement agreement that meets the needs of your family members as best as possible and ensures a high degree of compliance with the terms in the future. The agreement is then filed with the courts.
5. POST DIVORCE: Most families need help implementing, managing, or modifying their divorce agreements as time goes on. Divorce Connections professionals can help you adapt to your new family structure and better resolve difficulties you may experience as time passes.
After your divorce, your family may need specialty services to help you implement, manage, or modify your divorce agreement. In the Post-Divorce Process, your family will certainly need to learn to adjust to a new structure. You may face many new challenges, which you can better manage with the help of the right professionals for your situation.
Common Challenges in the Post Divorce Phase
1. Children having difficulty with transitions and/or visitation
2. Children displaying school or behavior problems
3. One party not complying with terms of marital agreement
4. Changes which result in a need to modify the agreement
5. Having difficulty communicating and managing the agreement
6. Managing time and resources
7. Ex-spouses moving on with their lives and forming new relationships
8. Blended family restructuring issues
9. Difficulties co-parenting the children
Free Orientation to the Divorce Connections Process
To learn more about the Divorce Connections Process, contact our Team Coordinator for a Free Orientation by phone, e-mail or in-person.
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Helping You Put Your
World Back Together | |
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Contact Us: info@DivorceConnections.com
Office: 231-941-4200 Copyright 2007 | 
